There are some great posts here on how to give feedback to people;
And as much as it probably pains you to sometimes do, the Giving is the easy part.
The hard part – receiving it, processing it, moving forward with it – that is where we all struggle.
If you really, really, really want to take feedback then you need to be able to receive it.
Receiving feedback takes three parts;
- Being Thankful – yes, thankful. Someone(s) just took time out of their schedule to sit down with you and give you feedback. So whether they are right or wrong or misguided or missing some facts – the first part is always to be thankful that they have taken the time to focus and help you grow.
- Listening – Receiving feedback isn’t about arguing your position, it’s about hearing and listening to what someone has to say on what you’ve done. It’s not about justifying your actions, it’s about getting another view into how your actions were perceived and providing insight into what went wrong and what could go better next time. It’s not a test, so as a result, we all need to stop getting hung up on whether we have passed or failed.
- Action – The key to any feedback is to generate next steps, what should I do better, where should I focus on, what do I need to think of when this happens again. You can be thankful and listen to all the feedback in the world but if you aren’t going to commit to taking any kind of action on it – you might as well throw it against the wall and see how long it sticks.
If you are not able to commit to those parts of receiving feedback, then you are not ready to receive it and as such, you shouldn’t be asking for it.
And this is okay.
We are all at points on projects and jobs where we are so focussed on finishing what is front of us that we can’t take feedback at that point in time for what it might do to our mental state on the project or confidence.
But make sure when everything has calmed down that you go seek out that feedback so you can continue to grow and get better – be thankful for their time, listen to what has to be said and take an action – either to incorporate the feedback into your work or seek out someone who can provide better feedback in a way that suits you better – not everyone is great at giving feedback and sometimes part of the action is knowing when to find someone else to help you.