When discussing an issue with a team member, you already know there is an issue – that’s why you setup the meeting.
But when you get the meeting, your role isn’t to talk, your role is to ask a question and wait.
Wait as long as it takes, but wait.
The silence will be deafening, good, that’s the point.
If you keep filling the air with words, you are never going to let them speak.
Even if what they are saying is wrong, take notes, let them go on and wait until the end.
You need to hear from them, you need to hear where they are coming from, you need to understand what they are saying and what they mean.
And you can’t do that if you are the one that is talking.